Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
