She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
one two three fourrrrnication!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize