Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
