You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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