I wish i was in the wii world.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
