I CAN MOONWALK!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
