Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
