i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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