Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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