What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
