Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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