Nicole vs. Life
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
