You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
