remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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