is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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