All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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