butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
