Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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