where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Drunk is not a location!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
