when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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