3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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