So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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