Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
