Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my being single is dangerous.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
