I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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