three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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