it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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