So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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