I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
