please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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