I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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