Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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