According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
