If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
