I'm so fucking centered right now
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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