I just saw a hot homeless man
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize