Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
