I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I am naked and annoyed.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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