at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize