Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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