Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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