You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
