I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
