we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i now understand why vodka
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize