I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i dont even know how to be here
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
