dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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