...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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