Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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