nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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