i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
