i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's official drugs can't kill me
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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