just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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