Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
