well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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