Don't you send me to vm
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The Olympian is in my bed
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
