yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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