I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
