I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize