he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
