I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just found puke in my bra..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I need water and some morals
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
