Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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